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Then she escapes, shacks up with a farmer who keeps bloodthirsty pigs (have you ever wondered why the 70s produced so many ‘man-eating pig’ movies?) and murders a bunch of creepy dudes. Lynn is in a mental home after stabbing her abusive dad to death. Troma made it’s name in exploitation garbage, but there really should be a line.

Yay Troma! Although to be honest this is bloody awful. If you were a psychologist specialising in the criminally insane, would you deliberately choose a haunted mansion to use as a clinic? Me too! Enjoyable for the beautifully old school ‘creeping around a haunted house with a candle’ scenes alone. It’s shit, but it’s fun shit with pyramids and everything.Ī Rangoon production! And hey, that’s as close to a guarantee of quality as you can get. To be fair, the crazed zombies look quite good, although not quite as zombie-like as the poor woman who delivers the original curse. I dunno man, I just work here.Ī group of fashion models (sexy!) disturb the tomb of a mummy (not sexy!) which then commands its ancient slaves (sexy AND exploitative!) to eat their flesh (not sexy AND exploitative!).

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Oh and there’s a serial killer who’s busy tracking people who had blood transfusions from him. Other then that, there’s some amazing ‘acting’ during the grief scene 18 minutes in, and Donna Wilkes is always value for money (assuming you think ‘Angel’ was worth paying to watch). I love this purely because it has a seemingly endless opening credits sequence powered entirely by John Carpenter-esque ripoff synths. Now it’s up to him and Demi Moore to evade a bunch of semi-naked rednecks and the government for fuck knows what reason. The film goes absolutely nowhere, but it does contain a lot of gratuitous nudity and violence. Lazy-eyed Jeff Goldblum analogue Robert Glaudini has created a giant parasite. Well, the villains drive a black Lambo, so it’s got that going for it. Oh, and you see ‘the nightbeast’ for a total of four-seconds in the entire movie. Weirdly, Nightbeast is actually a remake of the even worse The Alien Factor, but is more fun to watch because it mainly consists of weird chauvinists in Hawaiian shirts and unnecessary kitchen sink drama carried out by bored, be-afro’d deputies in the woods. It doesn’t make a lick of sense, but it does give her the power to summon weird disco-lightning and tons of dry ice whenever she likes, which is pretty wicked. Our heroine Susan (ex-Playboy bunny Bobbie Bresee, doing a surprisingly competent job) is cursed by a demon-witch-thing that killed her mother. Here are the full versions of 10 banned video nasties get you started: 1: Lost Cannibal WorldĬannibal Holocaust probably did it better (‘better’ is a relative term when it comes to putting people on spikes and castrating them), but Lost Cannibal World popped up a little earlier and kick-started the whole ‘American filmmakers find lost stone-age tribe and proceed to get chopped up’ craze. With the moral outrage of campaigners like the infamous Mary Whitehouse making national headlines, questions were asked in parliament, and the infamous DDP, or ‘video nasty’ list, was published, seeing 72 titles banned from the British isles for several years (unless you wanted to rent them from your local Ice Cream Man of course).įortunately, we now live in more enlightened times, and the results of this new, heightened sensibility? Well, you can now watch teenage virgins getting chainsawed up on your lunch hour. I have fond memories of sitting in my (17 year-old) uncle’s living room while a variety of jungle cannibal movies warped my prepubescent brain. This meant that for a brief, glorious period, you could rent just about anything from your local newsagent. The early 80s were both a blessing and a curse for UK gore-hounds.Īs VHS players first began to appear across this small island, rental libraries sprung up to meet demand, but the various film-rating bodies lagged behind the technology. But you can still watch them all on YouTube right now… 10 horror films so horrific they’ve were banned by the UK government.

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